An unnecessary review of a show you’ve definitely already seen
By: Sam Mathers, Editor-in-Chief
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 94%
My (Highly Unqualified) Score: 3.5 dragon eggs out of 5
Game of Thrones premiered on HBO in 2011 and it seems to be all anyone has talked about since. Admittedly, I’ve had no desire to watch it. As I once explained, “I’m not really into period dramas,” only to be promptly informed that Game of Thrones is not, in fact, a period drama. I honestly didn’t know much about the show – they wear a fair amount of furs, everybody loves Jon Snow, there is plenty of killing and incest, and it made Kristen Bell cry a lot: “they went too far this time!” With the impending release of the eighth and final season, I decided it was time to (apprehensively) jump on the bandwagon. Here are my thoughts on the pilot episode:
I was not expecting there to be zombies, and the beheading started much earlier than anticipated.
I appreciate the aesthetic of the King’s Watch. I too would wear an all-black outfit, horse included.
Ugh. The intro is so long. There is truly nothing worse.
Characters I Liked:
Eddard Stark is every Dad ever. He super easily gives into Bran begging to keep the direwolf puppies – “you will train them yourselves, you will feed them yourselves, and if they die, you will bury them yourselves” – knowing full well his kid will lose interest after a week and he will end up doing all of those things. Classic Dad. His bromance with the King is also classic Dad.
I am so sad for Daenerys, but I have high hopes. She is definitely going to wreak some havoc. Probably with the “stone” dragon eggs?
Who needs to learn embroidery when you can shoot arrows better than your brother? Not Arya. She also keeps Sansa in check by catapulting food at her. She will also wreak havoc. Am a fan.
Bran is the true star of this episode (and of my heart). He’s bad at shooting arrows and at listening to his mom, but he’s so adorable, you can’t help but root for him. I knew galavanting on the roof was going to end badly, but I could not have predicted how that would come back to bite him. I gasped for a whole minute. I’ve gasped every time I’ve thought about it since. I really, really hope he’s not dead.
Characters I Did Not Like:
I had a feeling Viserys and Daenerys were related, but hoped I was wrong given how gross and handsy he is, not to mention his creepy comment about “waking the dragon.” Then – whoop, there it is – he calls Daenerys “sweet sister” and proves to be even more of an annoying brat as the episode goes on.
The Queen – she asks Sansa if she’s gotten her period yet and sleeps with her twin brother. Not impressed.
I know I have to talk about Jon Snow, but honestly… he was kind of a letdown? His storyline had a major Harry Potter cupboard-under-the-stairs vibe and he was definitely throwing himself a pity party. JUST WEAR IT LIKE ARMOUR JON SNOW! Given the fandom, I can only assume he will in fact, wear it like armour.
There are too many characters and storylines. I had to pause halfway through to sort it all out and considered drawing a family tree. I still don’t entirely know what’s going on.
They said “Winter is coming” too many times.
I don’t like the way they all style their facial hair, especially the man who ties his hair under his chin as a faux beard.
I knew there was a lot of killing and incest, but there was really a lot of killing and incest.
I will probably watch it again, mostly to find out if poor Bran died or not.