Service providers add surcharges that will totally help their employees combat the raising dollar.

By Rob Furlong, News Editor.

bell telus rogersBell, Telus, and Rogers have announced that they will add a $5 surcharge to their rate plans in response to the falling value of the loonie. “We’re totally doing this to help out our employees deal with their rising grocery bills and not because we have zero competition and can do whatever we want. We would never do that!” say the Big Three.

“I heard about the rising cost yesterday and I’m really excited!” said Bill Johnston, a Bell employee, “They haven’t announced anything yet but I’m sure they added the surcharge because of the hit my co-workers and I are taking with the dropping loonie. My living expenses are starting to rise and it’s already tough to raise a family on my salary so this pay bump will really help!”

Many Industry critics have stated that the lowering loonie will affect the Big Three telecommunication companies very little and according to John Lawford, executive director at the Public Interest Advocacy Centre said “It makes superficial sense to the average person.”

“If the dropping loonie isn’t really effecting the companies cost then they must be using it to help their employees. As a fellow working Canadian I’m happy to help these hard working individuals”, said Diana Sullivan, a Telus customer, “It’s a tough time for everyone and we all need to rally together. It’s really nice to see Canada’s large corporations also taking an interest in the well-being of Canadians and not just trying to line their pockets during an economic downturn.”

Price hikes won’t happen in Quebec, Saskatchewan or Manitoba where the Big Three compete with local providers Videotron, SaskTel and MTS for wireless customers. “The reason we aren’t adding the surcharge in these provinces is simply because our employees there aren’t facing the same hardships as our employees in other provinces” said an un-named Rogers representative with an oddly robotic voice, “this totally isn’t happening because we have a monopoly over the cell-phone market. We care ab……” Sadly, this call was dropped before The Argus could find out what The Big Three really care about.