Your Pending Mosaic: Shifting the Perspective in Homesickness

Skepticism, cascading thoughts, and the intangible sensation of your singularity in an anonymous environment are palpably daunting. You might feel misled by motion and immutably anchored by what restores your coherency, such as your hometown. It is common to feel a sense of dormancy in your reality and a fettered beckoning of melancholia. However, reminiscing is synchronously comforting and tortuous. Nostalgia can be sickening, and the exile of your childhood can feel disjointing like you have lost a piece of yourself. When the past is your salve for clarity, growth and change are eradicated potential. Think of your life as an ornamental mosaic. You cannot create the enticing beauty of the integrated fragments of your being while staying the complete same. 

Homesickness is a normal response to an intimidating transition; however, allowing it to keep you in a place of inertia means you cannot flee the varnish of your protective layer, a layer coated in black and white. To flee is to live and to construct a mosaic with multitudes of yourself that chose to keep moving and exploring; there is purpose in change.

Here is a poem about wading through the mournful yet stirring transition from high school to university for hope to those who are struggling to adapt:

I am soaking in my first night at university

But I have never felt so childlike

I oscillate between two dimensions and flee the enclosure of my clamouring mind

My knees are stained green, and a sweet aftertaste rests gingerly on my tongue 

I trail alongside her, severing from one another, starting to lose sight as my vision clouds and my stride disharmonizes

My younger self no longer diffuses bristly through me but holds my trembling hands

Welcoming me to feel her once more before she becomes a layer in my life

To breathe in lucid air one last time

To change is to acquire what fragments and steps are needed to proceed, altered, and moulded by dawns and dusks

She is tethered to my outcome, permitting me to go and wade through the coating of motion and reversion

An eternal asterism, proof that I am not static but that I am also not linear

There is a purpose in change; I will get to meet so many new people

But I am glad that I knew her

I will get to meet so many new people. I mean that literally and figuratively. Yes, we will meet new friends, but we will also meet new versions of ourselves. There is so much beauty in adorning yourself in change and melding together into the person you will become. Behind the fear and reluctant conversion is a hand reaching for you with guidance, and that hand belongs to yourself. This signifies that solitude does not prevail over your intangible loneliness. Ultimately, I believe that all of us are experiencing a form of mental and emotional disturbance and re-evaluating our potential in this unknown place. So, reach out your hand and live your life in abundance; a multicoloured mosaic is pending.